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Monday 6 December 2010

Facebook Launches New Profile – Viral Rumours Soon to Follow

Facebook have recently announced the imminent launch of the new profile page, meaning your profile page is going to be restructured and ergo is going to look very different indeed.
New features will incorporate recently tagged photos of yourself appearing at the top of the profile page, a featured friends element allowing you to select your important friends (many potential arguments there, then) and more information about your hobbies, work etc. (sharing even more information with Facebook? They must enjoy irritating the hell out of privacy activists)

We’re telling you about this imminent change [-all users should have new profiles by the new year-] because every time Facebook does make any sort of change, hoaxers see this as some sort of starting whistle to spread as much illogical tripe as possible to see how far and deep their alarmist lies can spread across a network comprised largely of people far too familiar with their Copy & Paste keyboard shortcuts. (It’s Control + C and V for the sceptics)

So this post is a pre-emptive warning that soon the old favorites are likely to make an inevitable return, such as…

-Facebook groups, pages and applications that claim it can get your old profile back, providing you invite people to join, of course. Like all changes Facebook make, once their finalised, there is no reverting back.

-Viral messages stating Facebook has been hacked because of some sort of irrelevant and obscure feature some hoaxer has discovered. Remember the assertion your account could be hacked because your own name appeared on your list of friends? Prepare for the next viral “Facebook has been hacked” panic.

-Similar to the above point, we expect a new round of “Facebook hackers” to miraculously appear, magically comprising Facebook accounts based on the illogical pseudo-jargon garbage the hoaxers dream up.

-Facebook are planning on charging for upgrades. You really have to admire this rumours ability to simply refuse to lay down and die. Always popping up every few months, likely prompting Facebook’s message on their homepage that it will always be free. We expect to see a timely return of this classic at some point.

So Facebook are already altering many of its users to the new profile layout.
We can’t wait.


Think of any more rumours likely to follow? Feel free to comment below.

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